By Robert C. Solomon
Romantic love may possibly start with sexual ardour, however it is guided and nurtured by means of principles the enthusiasts have approximately their selves and the area, in response to this collage of Texas philosophy professor. Solomon defines romantic love as an emotional procedure that's reciprocal and applicable basically among equals. A lover could supplement what's top in us, include values we percentage or inspire beliefs we attempt after. In any occasion, love endures merely while it forges a conceptual bond, every body viewing the other's lifestyles as essential to whole one's self. during this clever, witty, adventurous essay, Solomon sheds gentle on love at the beginning sight, no matter if opposites allure, counterfeit emotion, the euphemism (and act) of ""sleeping together,'' possessiveness, the necessity of fanatics for privateness and the significance of fights in a fit dating. His re-visioning of affection favors Plato's proposal of the merger of 2 souls over Freud's view of affection as sublimated erotic feeling.
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Extra info for About Love: Reinventing Romance for our Times
He doesn't really know her, or she him, but they feel as if they would give their lives for each other. " But the future is so uncertain; emotions are so unpredictable. And to keep it going they both would have to take serious personal risks and make considerable sacrifices. " They've exhausted the stock evasions, "special," "wonderful," "how much I enjoy being with you," etc. " They know how much is at stake with these three words, how fast obligations and expectations will multiply. " How can they tell?
The roles of men and women were thoroughly defined and unequal. Marriages were arranged rather than by choice, and arranged marriages strike us as the very antithesis of romance, even leaving aside the awkward question about whether such marriages are in general as successful as romantically based marriages (the evidence suggests a clear yes). In Japan, too, marriage has never been romantic, not just because marriages were arranged but also because the role of the woman is so submissive, because she is discouraged from all of those talents that would THE ELUSIVE EMOTION 53 make her an equal and interesting partner instead of a devoted and, in many cases, abused servant.
Quite obviously there have been stories that strike us as clearly romantic even in ancient times-in Sophocles and The Tale of Genji, in the Song of Solomon and the legend of the Taj Mahal. But to so expand the notion of romance that it includes every form of sexual obsession in every society and every desire to marry the girl or boy in the next house or hut obliterates all the distinctions worth making and ignores the very special conditions and demands of love that we take for granted in our society but are rare exceptions in most others.